What's All This Then?
What's All This Then?
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Thousands tried, many failed.
Test your intelligence with our infamous fish puzzle.
Field-Tested by Will Leitch
in the back of Mrs. Gardners classroom in Mattoon, Illinois
This is one of the ‘Bachman Books,’ that collection of four novels that Stephen King wrote when he was, like, 19. Two of these arent very good (even the one that inspired The Running Man, which is, god yes, quite good), one is decent, if kind of creepy in the wake of all the school shootings (Rage), and one is balls-out awesome. Thats The Long Walk.
The premise of the book is simple. In one of those not-too-distant futures that people love to write about, a dictator called The Major stages a yearly ‘race’ called The Long Walk. 100 young men all line up and walk. You have to walk four miles an hour, and if you go under that speed three times in an hour, youre shot dead. Thats it. Thats the whole book. We meet all the different competitors, some of whom are compelling, some clichéd, some just faceless, nameless dead guys. Because he was about 20 years old when he wrote it, theres a lot of psychological, metaphorical mumbo-jumbo that King would be smart enough to remove when he got older. But its just a long, long walk, with a bunch of guys talking to each other, watching each other die. Its a brilliant idea for a book, and I must have read it about 100 times in high school. When Im in-between books now, Im prone to pulling out my old ratty, rotting copy of The Bachman Books to read it again. Its not brilliant, but it rivets me every time, even if I always know how its gonna turn out. I read a lot of really boring books that Im ‘supposed’ to enjoy, but I still read this, over and over, and it never fails me.
This book captured me when I was about 13 years old. Why? Because it grappled with issues of morality, death, sex, brotherhood in an easy-to-read way that still made me feel like an adult. Ive read much better books since then, serious books, but this still appeals to that 13-year-old who learned that, hey, books can be pretty fun! Who knew?
Read the next Field Test by Matthew Linderman